Family trips

Clearly I need to stop going on them.  I end up eating crap food that is not good for me, feeling terrible and failing miserably.  I cannot wait to get past this triathalon on Saturday and just focus on strength and running.

Sabotage

So I walked past the ice cream twice yesterday.  I stopped both times.  I did not buy my very favorite ice cream in the whole wide world.  It's Tillamook Mudslide.  Anyway, I didn't do it.  I'm not sure if it was because it was almost $6 for that container, or because I legitimately knew I didn't need to have it in the house.  When I have Mudslide in the house, I eat it.  All of it.  Within a day or two.  So yay me, no Mudslide!

I went to the store with a list.  A plan to have a very healthy dinner of Fish Tacos.  I bought the things on my list and also bought a Dijourno Pizza and some Vanilla ice cream to go with the apples for the Apple crisp.  The very healthy whole foods crisp, and I even bought the all natural ingredients ice cream.  I ended up eating pizza for lunch and vanilla ice cream with rhubarb sauce for dinner.   The fish tacos didn't happen.  The good news is that I have a solid plan for dinner tonight and I have no more money to go to the store.

Amazingly my weight was down by 1.5lbs today, but one could argue that it was all just water weight anyway.

This morning: 196lbs

Breakfast: 2 eggs w/ swiss chard, pico sauce and queso fresco, coffee w/almond milk
snack: almonds
lunch:  big giant salad, tangelo
snack: cucumbers w/hummus
dinner: Fish Tacos, apple crisp w/vanilla ice cream

Because I have to have my sweet stuff or there will be more sabotage.

Still learning.

I have been actively trying to lose weight since 2005.  I have tried a few fad diets, weight watchers, etc.  I have lost the same 25 lbs and regained them time and time again.  It wasn't until this year that the light clicked on for me.  I cannot lose the weight and keep it off if I continue to eat food that is bad for me.

I truly believed that if I just exercised enough, I could eat whatever I wanted.  Not true.  Even at the height of marathon training, I did not lose a pound.  As soon as I stopped running 30+ miles a week, teaching 3 jazz classes a week and not doing my 3 strength training days a week, I started to gain.  I was exhausted.

So now, here I am.  7lbs heavier than what I was on January 1 of this year.  I have learned alot from Dax Moy, Tosca Reno and Jillian Michaels.  I know now that I have to stop eating food that isn't food.  It's really my Achilles heel in it all, because I do love to exercise.

So here it stops.  I draw the line.  I am NOT going to weigh 200lbs ever again.  I am currently 197 lbs and not ok with it.  In fact I'm depressed and saddened that I am where I am. This is my rock bottom.